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Writer's Block: Teenage dream

If you arrived at your front door and saw your first love standing there, what would you do or say?


Ask how his day went and pass off the baby.
I've got a lot of plans for 2010. I know I can't control how the year goes, but things have been great lately and I am going to do my best to keep them that way.

Nolan has been so much fun lately. It makes me wish he wasn't so shy, I want everyone to see what a crack-up my kiddo is. He's taken to doing silly weird little things because he knows that they make me laugh, and he dances, and he's finally starting to talk. He'll repeat just about anything at this point, and he's got probably 20-30 words that he'll use on his own. Out of those 20-30 a good handful of them relate to Sesame Street... he's a bit obsessed with all things El-moo (elmo).

My boys are home... I'll write more later.
I never seem to have anything to write about anymore. Or maybe I just never have time to sit down and write.

Life is flying by... I have a walking, talking (mostly gibberish), wild little man to occupy my time.
He is 16 months now and I can't believe my baby has turned into this crazy little toddler.

I thought about sitting here and listing all of his new accomplishments... instead I'm going to go clean house for a bit until he wakes up.
Hopefully I can find more time to write, so that I don't feel like I have to catch up on the last 6 months with each post.
At this time last year I was on the couch, big as a whale, sulking and crying that my baby was never going to come out.
Little did I know that in just a couple of hours my water was going to break and I was about to start this crazy journey of motherhood.

We had Nolan's birthday party on Sunday, though his actual birthday isn't until tomorrow.

Here's a sneak peek at the pictures until I get time to post more of them.
This is Nol after finishing up his 1st birthday cake.
Time is flying.

I can't believe my baby is going to be 10 months old in just a little over a week.
He waves, nods and shakes his head no, crawls, and eats just about everything we give him. It is crazy how fast he has developed into this little guy, when it feels like just yesterday I had a newborn.

I am loving every minute of this.
I'd say a good 70% of the time I enjoy being a stay at home mom. Being able to spend so much time with Nolan means the world to me, and I generally don't ever feel the need to get away from him.
But, in order to keep my sanity during the week, I depend on weekends being family time. A time for Brian and I both to take care of Nolan, so that I can get some adult interaction and not just spend more time by myself with the baby.

Unfortunately, Brian wants to spend every Saturday working on remodeling the dining room. At first he told me it would just be 4 hours each Saturday, now he's saying that he'll be working for 8 hours this coming Saturday.
I feel extremely selfish for feeling like this, because I really do think it's great that he's productive and wants to better our home, but I just want to scream at the idea of spending another 8 hour day alone with Nolan.
Man, I'm old.

Brian and I were trying to figure out how many trick-or-treaters we had in years past, and I said I would just check LJ since I was certain I had written it in here last year.
Apparently it only felt like a year, because in reality it's been 4 years since I've written in LiveJournal on Halloween!
My baby is sleeping in his own room for the first time tonight!

Neither of us have been sleeping while for the past week so hopefully this will help, but it still makes me nervous and a little bit sad.

Sep. 30th, 2008

Day 2 of being a stay at home mom.
Things are going well so far. The kid and I are fed, bathed, and dressed. I swept the whole house, mopped the living room and hallway, cleaned the bathroom sink, and made the bed.

Nolan has been sleeping an insane amount the last two days. He's also congested, so I don't think he's feeling very good.

I honestly never thought I would want to stay home. But as much as I love my job, so far this just feels right.
Crap!
Is it worth it to go back to work at all when I'll be paying out 2/3rds of my salary for childcare??
Brian bought me an item called Chilada, it's a mix of Budweiser and Clamato.
It's like the ghetto version of a bloody mary, and I'm pretty excited.

Also, we had professional pictures taken of Nolan yesterday. Holy crap, my kid is cute.
We put Nolan down in his bassinet last night at 11:30, he slept until we woke him up to eat at 3:00, and then went back to sleep until 6:30!

It was pretty amazing.

Jun. 9th, 2008

My water broke about 15 minutes ago!

I've been wanting him out for weeks, but now that it's really here I'm a bit terrified.

I'm not having many contractions yet, so I guess we're going to try to get some sleep!
Tomorrow is the start of the one month left countdown.

At this point I'm praying he's ready to come out before his due date. I'm so, so uncomfortable.
I'm extremely crampy, my back hurts, and my cankles are huge and sore.

Not that I would give it up for anything. I'm so excited to become a mom.
Just getting a bit impatient.
Oh man.
I know pregnancy dreams are supposed to be extremely vivid, and I've had a hell of a time lately with realistic nightmares, but last night's dream takes the cake.

I was back in college and sitting at a desk smoking a cigarette. In reality, the most I've ever smoked is one little drag off of Jessie's cigarette when I was like 16, but I thought I was pro in my dream. Until... I sucked in the cigarette butt and all of the ash! It was so disgusting tasting that it woke me up immediately, but I've still got a bad taste in my mouth from it. Yuck!!


In other news, I'd like to consider myself a fairly good cook, but I've never been big on baking. For some reason though I decided to attempt it this week, so I made a pie last night. It looks good, but I haven't had the chance to taste it yet. I guess we'll see...

20 weeks!

We've reached the halfway point in the pregnancy, and while we've had a couple of scares, so far it looks like everything is going fine.
We had our 20 week ultrasound today, and the baby looks perfectly healthy, and is definitely a boy!
Now we are back at square one on names, we had a girl name picked out, but so far we haven't had any luck agreeing on a boy's name.

I have definitely got a belly now, and while I don't think it's very obvious, I have had people ask when I'm due who didn't know I was pregnant, so I must be showing more than I think.

I can also feel him kicking at this point, so that's pretty cool. It's not alot yet, but I've been feeling movement for about a week and half now.

Alright... off to research boy names!
A tornado in Vancouver! Crazy!

It looks like it's gone now, but from what I've seen on the news it looks like there is some damage.
We've got lots of family that live right in the area (Hazel Dell Ave. & 78th), so hopefully everyone is ok.

I thought the thunder and lightning seemed a little odd today, it was constant thunder claps for 15 minutes or so, but I just ignored it. Apparently, it wasn't normal though....
Pregnancy is making me feel like I'm 13 again.

The roller-coaster emotions and breakouts are not something I wanted to relive anytime soon, but I guess it's worth it.
We are back from the honeymoon, and we have been married for 10 days now!



The night before the wedding Karli, Meghan, Molly, and Mara came over to help put together the bouquets, corsages, and bouts. We were up fairly late, but I managed to get some sleep.
I woke up insanely nervous that morning, and tried to choke down some yogurt.
We headed out to Forest Grove around 7:30 AM in the rain, and started putting together centerpieces. We eventually decided that the weather was probably not going to clear up, so we agreed to have the ceremony outside in the garden like planned, and move the reception to our inside space. I was a bit disapointed, but it turned out beautiful anyway.

The morning went by super fast, and around 10:45 I got to my hair and makeup appointments. The building we got married in has their own spa, so we used that for our hair and makeup. They did a great job, and it was so nice to have them on location.

After hair and makeup us girls got into our dresses and the photographer led all of us around to different locations for pictures until guests started showing up. At this point my bridesmaids and I went and hid in a hotel room, and I tried to convince myself not to throw up from nervousness.

The ceremony started at 3, and everything went off without a hitch. The sun broke through the rain just in time for the ceremony! It was perfect timing. The flower girl (Brian's adopted little sister) was so, so adorable. She took about 5 minutes to walk down the aisle because she very carefully picked up one petal at a time and layed them down in a line.
When it was time for my dad and I to walk it was just extremely surreal.
I spent most of the ceremony willing myself not to cry, which in hindsight was silly because I missed alot of the experience.

The reception started around 3:45 and it was decorated beautifully. I had planned all of the centerpieces and stuff, but was too busy to put them together that morning. Luckily, my mom, sister, and others did a great job putting it all together.

The reception went by so quickly, that I feel like I don't even remember it all. We had a soup and salad buffet for food, and it was excellent, and our wedding cake was absolutely beautiful.
There was lots of dancing, and lots of mingling. I am the world's most awkward dancer ever, so the first dance and the dance with my dad was a bit embarassing, but all in all it was great.

I haven't gotten the professional pictures back yet, but we also hired my sister's best friend to take pictures and she did an excellent job so I will post some of those under a cut...Collapse )

Aug. 16th, 2007

It's supposed to rain on Sunday.
The wedding is getting closer!
Right now the big project is getting invitations mailed out. We sent a big batch of them last weekend from Bridal Veil, Oregon. They do a cute little postmark with hearts since the place is called Bridal Veil, and after seeing the post office I would imagine that wedding invitations are the only reason anyone goes out there!
This is the post office we sent them from:


Anyways, We are sending out the final invites this week, though we probably won't make it back out to Bridal Veil with these ones :)

Everything else is coming along too, and I'm no where near as stressed as everyone made it sound like I would be. I've had a couple bridezilla moments, but for the most part I really don't care about the details. I just want us and our guests to have fun at the wedding, and most of all I just want to be married.

May. 4th, 2007

I just finished my last paper ever!

No more school!


(Until I get bored and decide to go back for grad school. Heh.)

Apr. 15th, 2007

I've got 14 assignments left. Many of them late assignments that I'm still trying to get caught up with, and two of the assignments are huge 8-10 page papers on scary topics that I still don't really feel educated enough to write about.

But, if I can get these finished, I will be done with school. For good.
It feels extremely weird to know that I'm going to (most likely) graduate in 3 weeks.
I can't imagine how nice it will be to never sit through another lecture, never have to BS my way through another paper.
I'm sure at some point I probably will have to do these things again for a work situation, but it seems better to think that I will be paid to do them, instead of paying to do them.

I keep thinking I should go to grad school, but I'm way too burnt out on school to do it now. Maybe I'll go back in the future, but for right now I want to concentrate on working, fixing up the house, and the wedding. I keep hearing that if I don't head straight to grad school I will never again have the motivation to go back, but I just can't do it right now. If that means I will never go back then oh well, but I really can see myself continuing on to grad school in a few years. We'll see, I guess.

I need to make a post about wedding planning, and a post about the many job prospects I'm looking at, but for right now I've got to get back to writing papers.
Alright, it wans a pretty damn good new year.
I'm terying to read LJ rihghyt now and it/s al.l just a blurry mess.

I pl;ayd with Kar and Meghan most. Plus fiance aof cousrse.
I don'tnkow.

Creepso cabn driver, much? Yah I think so.

It's 2007.
I'm fggetting marrie.d Ihave the best of frineds, and I can't wait for this year. Hell ees.
Well friends,
It's sunday night. We've just finished a bottle of champagne, and I figured there was nothing else to do so why not LJ?
There is always homework, but somehow this seems more fun.

2 weeks left of pure insanity, and then next semester will be much calmer.
I'm taking:
Public Policy Affecting Children and Families
Application of Human Development Theories
Child Abuse and Neglect
and 2 credits of internship. I think I wrote about interning at CPS in my last post, but now I'm aiming at Childcare Licensing instead. It sounds like there will be alot more jobs opening up with licensing soon, and it's what I've wanted to do for years I just didn't think there would be jobs available in that field. We'll see though. I still haven't heard back from them on whether or not they even want an intern.

After a looong 5 hours looking at fabric yesterday we bought fabric for my bridesmaid dresses. I wasn't really sure about it yesterday because it doesn't fit the vision I've had in my head this whole time, but it's really pretty. We're going to use a pinkish-orangish fabric for the dresses, and then a sunflower yellow for the sashes.

Alright. I've got nuts (Ha, I wrote butts the first time) roasting in the oven, so I should get off the computer and go check on them.

Sep. 22nd, 2006

I found a kitten.
And I love it.

I can't really bring it in the house though... the dogs hate it, and I'm horribly allergic, and I don't know if it has a real home.
I'm not really sure what the hell I'm supposed to do. I put food and water out for it, and I guess if it's still on my porch in the morning I'll bring it to the humane society. Any other ideas?

It's really precious. It climbed up on the window sill and then jumped and hung onto my sweatshirt. Awww.
Fall semester started on Monday and I'm already behind in my reading.
I'm just not into it this semester. I want to be planning my wedding, not studying research methods.
For the most part though my classes seem like they will be easy, and most of them seem interesting too, so I guess that's good.

More interesting than school stuff....
We've got bridesmaids (Karli, Meghan, Molly, and Briley) and groomsmen (Kevin, Derek, Marvin, and Carl), and a location (We're 99% sure we want Grand Lodge). I'm not sure what to start on next...


I guess I should go get some frosting started for cake class tonight.

Aug. 13th, 2006

We are officially engaged!

Brian proposed this morning down at Frenchman's Bar. It was perfect.
Although I've been planning, and hinting forever that I wanted this it still feels really wierd (but good) to know that I have a fiance now and we are getting married!

My ring is gorgeous! It is exactly what I wanted. Brian's camera kind of sucks, but here are a couple pictures anyway.




And here is one of me being stupid and trying to pose with my ring. Heh.
So much to do!!

I'm realizing now just how busy I'm going to be come fall semester.
20 hours a week at work, 15.5 hours at my internship, and 12 credits in school.
I'm having trouble right now with 20 hours at work, and only 11 credits in school, and my internship hasn't even started yet!

On top of that, Karli and I started taking a cake decorating class. So far it's alot of fun. One of our customers at work does wedding cakes and she said once we finish the 3 months of classes she wants to come work with her doing wedding cakes on the side! It'd be great money, and I enjoy doing it, but it's definitely going to add to the stress.

Back to my paper writing...

Jun. 6th, 2006

We went to Vegas two weeks ago.
It was fun, and I didn't lose too much money.
I loved the weather down there. It sucked to come back here to it pouring down rain, and 50 degrees.

Today isn't too bad, it's sunny enough, but I wish it was a bit hotter.
It was a nice morning for working in the garden though. My veggies are getting huge!
Brian built me two raised beds for my birthday, and they have been great. Everything I've planted except the onions and the eggplant are all doing really well.
Well, and my lettuce, but that's my fault for not picking it when I should have and wanting it to get even bigger and instead it's starting to bolt.

Blah. I've got to work until 5:45 tonight, so I already started some tofu and veggies marinating in the fridge so I can just throw some stir-fry together when I get home. That way I'll have enough time left tonight to get some homework done. I haven't been too motivated this summer and it's definitely catching up to me. I have a lot to do!

Off to work...

May. 18th, 2006

I need some help with a paper for a women's studies class...

Here is the assignment:
Inform people that you are taking a course on violence towards women. First, see what their spontaneous response is concerning the topic. Second, ask if they know of anyone who has or is experiencing the types of violence (domestic violence, rape, and child abuse) discussed in this course. How common are these experiences? Discuss.

Anybody care to help me out with this? It doesn't have to be much, just leave a little comment if you could. Thanks!!
I'm getting behind in summer semester already.
Woopsie.

It's just so nice out.
And schoolwork is just so boring.

I knew it was trouble when I signed up for 11 credits for the summer.



Edit: I make myself sound like a big slacker, but really I've got this school thing covered, I just procrastinate a bit. Last semester I ended up with 4 A's, and a B-. Yay!
I took my last final this morning so the semester is officially done!

Now I've got to start preparing for summer semester that starts on Monday. Heh.
School is killing me.
I've only got two weeks left in the semester, but as soon as it ends summer session starts up, and I'll be in this mess all over again.

I'm doing well, though. I guess at this point my grades are more important than my sanity.


Not much else to say so I guess I should go start cramming for a final I've got in an hour.
Well friends, I turned 21.
And I am drunk always now.

Not really, but sometimes.


School sucks. I'm almost done though. 13 months left, and I will have a bachelor's degree. And really even though it kind of sucks, WSU is 5000 times better than Clark.
I start an internship in the fall at Bay with the teen mommas hopefully. Either there or at CPS. I'm really excited for it.

That's all.
Ugh.
I took the dogs in for booster shots and to get their nails cut today.
Elwood jumped and the vet ended up cutting a couple of his too short.
The sight of blood made me get all dizzy, and I had to sit down so I wouldn't pass out.
I'm a wimp.

So, now I'm home, $150 dollars later, and I'm still nauseous.



P.S. One week until I'm 21!!

Mar. 8th, 2006

Uck. I'm exhausted.
I put off writing a huge paper for my development in context class until tonight (It's due tomorrow). And I forgot that I also have a re-write of a soc paper due tomorrow and a bunch of little stuff due in other classes.

I finished the big paper, and it was my first time using APA format, but I think I did pretty good. I can afford to mess up a little though, as I got a 94 on the first test in that class and 100% on the second one!

Unfortunately, that still leaves me with my soc paper to re-write, and I can't afford to mess it up. I got a C+ on it the first time, and I really should try to raise it to at least a B, but I don't know if I want to put in the effort.


One more day (and a loooong night) until Spring Break.
It was a pretty damn good V-Day.
Beautiful dark red roses, the Curious George soundtrack, take-out chinese food, champagne, and watching my favorite musical (Into the Woods) on dvd.

I love him.